Chapter: 51 (part two)/?
Authors: Akiru chan & Disgruntled Minion
Ciel's skin was marred with ink and
blood, telling tales twisted in darkness.
What an evil path the devil walks, tainted hands
staining the innocent canvas. For the most
beautiful art is painted in blood.
Warnings: Violence, adult content, yaoi, and language.
The kitchen door swung open and Carmella trotted out, pausing at the sight of Ciel crumpled on the floor. She was at his side in an instant, dropping down to kneel next to him. “What’s the matter, Ciel?” She asked, her hands already on Ciel’s body, checking for any injuries. She couldn’t see any, but it didn’t mean that there weren’t some. “Are you hurt somewhere?”
Ciel sent her a glare and shrugged her off as he stood. “I’m fine!” He said a little more harshly then he meant. As she flinched away, he felt instantly guilty and managed a weak smile. “I’m really fine,” he tried again, although the words contradicted with his tone and body posture.
Carmella frowned and shook her head. “That’s not an ‘I’m fine face’, she scolded and leaned away from Ciel to give him his space. “Keeping things bottled in doesn’t work well, you know. If you’re having problems with someone, you can tell me and I can take care of them for you. And I won’t breathe a word that you asked for help.”
“It hasn’t got anything to do with anyone, and it’s not your concern,” Ciel said. “It’s not a problem you can help with anyways.” Despite his words, Ciel was appreciative for the offer. It was just that this issue was not something he was willing to bring outsiders in on. If he wasn’t going to tell Sebastian, then he surely wasn’t going to tell any other member of the family. He thought quickly of Ann, but she had been leaving the mansion more now that things had calmed down. The only reason she had yet to return home was to keep a close eye on Ciel, not that he felt he needed it.
A small grunt left Carmella’s mouth, and she grasped Ciel’s wrist. “Well, if you’re not going to tell me or anyone else, then the least I can do is offer you some company.” She dragged him to the kitchen. “You can use a pick me up and I know the best way, provided you don’t go overboard. Just something to relax your mind until you feel as though you can tell someone.
“I know what you’ve been through Ciel; I’ve felt pain similar to your own. It might not be the best means to relief, but...” Carmella trailed off. “You just need something to take the edge off.”
This sparked Ciel’s interest, but he hid it behind an indifferent mask. He followed her into the kitchen, though he had little choice with how forcefully she dragged him along. Ciel was pushed down on one of the stools at the kitchen’s bar, and he watched with an intent blue eye as Carmella began to busy herself.
“What are you doing?” He asked as she grabbed a rather large glass from the cupboard. She moved to a far cabinet that Ciel rarely touched, and for good reason. He knew what was kept there, and his face instantly set into a frown.
“One glass won’t hurt you,” Carmella stated as she poured them both a small amount of liquor. The bottle was capped and placed back in the cabinet, before Carmella moved over to sit next to Ciel. She placed both glasses on the counter next to her. “However, if you let yourself get out of control with drinking, it’s not just me who will kick your ass until you’re fully sober, but Sebastian as well. You don’t need to be drinking this stuff all the time if you’re trying to escape something.” Her eyes focused on him, making sure that he understood. Once you turned to the bottle for your troubles, it was hard to come back.
Ciel wanted to ask her why she was giving him any at all then, but he quietly eyed the glasses. He didn’t drink much, and more often than not turned it away if it was ever offered. A part of him told himself to turn away the drink now, but another greater part said that it would indeed help. Ciel needed something to calm his nerves and clear his head just a bit. Taking a sip of the whiskey concoction, he frowned as it burned his throat and settled heatedly in the pit of his stomach.
A second sip was about to be taken when the kitchen door swung open to admit a very ruffled looking Alois. He paused at seeing both Ciel and Carmella sitting in the kitchen and gave them a small smirk when he saw what they were drinking. “Isn’t it a little early for that?” He asked as he moved closer towards them, putting off getting his lunch for the time being.
Carmella set her glass on the counter and shook her head. “We’re done, so it doesn’t really matter.” The glass was carried over to the sink and rinsed out before Carmella turned to Ciel, a small smile on her face. “Have a good day, Ciel, and remember what I said.” She waved her hand and trotted out of the kitchen, bidding both males goodbye.
No wave was returned as Ciel quickly downed the rest of his drink. He eyed Alois wearily when he didn’t seem inclined to leave but instead moved back to the cabinet that Carmella had been shifting through earlier. Suddenly he wished the woman was back, or perhaps that he hadn’t run into her at all. With his empty stomach, the happy fizzle of a light buzz was seeping into Ciel’s mind, and he felt slightly better, but not quite as much at ease that he had hoped to be.
“What are you doing?” Ciel asked when Alois came back to the table with some cans of Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper, followed by bottles of rum, whiskey and tequila. This couldn’t be good, Ciel could only think to himself.
“What’s it look like?” Alois asked. “You aren’t the only one being punished by Tanaka, you know. I’m done for the day, and I can’t think of a better way to spend it, than tossing back a few drinks. But it sucks to drink alone and even you’re better company than an empty kitchen,” he stated as he mixed the first drink, sliding a glass over to Ciel before taking one for himself.
Ciel quirked his eyebrow. “And what, might I ask, does Tanaka have you doing for punishment?” It was only a little past three, leaving Ciel to believe that it couldn’t be too bad, at least he could relax early on in the day. A shot of something, Ciel didn’t see what Alois had poured, was passed his way and he took it, tipping it back and drinking it down.
Alois snorted. “Anything and everything. I’ve had to clean all the weapons in the stock room, taking each apart and cleaning until it’s perfect. If not, I have to do it all over again.” He took a drink from his glass before sighing in content. “And then I have to do other things that are just driving me up the wall.”
“Want to talk about it?” Ciel offered, far more comfortable with discussing other people’s problems than his own. His larger glass was filled up with half a can of Dr. Pepper and more than a couple of shots of rum. For a moment, he debated drinking the strong mixture, but with each drink his problems seemed to fade away and his head buzzed and swam pleasantly. In the end, he gave in and sipped greedily at the drink, loving the carefree and weightless feeling it was causing within his body.
Alois grumbled. “Tanaka is just killing us all. Even Claude’s been really busy. I think cause he was the one who let you go and helped you plan everything. So he’s been doing a lot of work.” A scowl formed on his face. “So that by the time night rolls around, he’s too tired to do anything but go to sleep, and it’s been at least two weeks since we had sex.”
Ciel understood that. “Sebastian and I have been forbidden to even think about it,” he grumbled, the alcohol loosening his tongue. “That doesn’t mean we’ve listened, but there’s only so much you can do when people are keeping eyes on you every second.” Another drink was downed, and the glass was passed to Alois for more. The happy feeling was growing, and Ciel felt like smiling. Everything seemed a little less important and stressful. It was nice, and Ciel could only ask for more.
A small grunt left Alois’s mouth. “At least you two can still be together. Tanaka has Claude and I working separate assignments so we barely see each other until nightfall. And I doubt the boss is giving you two hard, physical labor,” Alois snapped. “Your puny bodies can’t handle it, so I doubt you two would be able to have sex without passing out.”
“I am not...puny.” A sour look crossed Ciel’s face, and he glared down at his still empty glass. He snapped a ‘fill it’ before continuing his ramblings. “And I can go all night having sex with Sebastian. I can so handle it! You’re just jealous that Tanaka isn’t splitting us up.”
“I doubt you can even last thirty minutes, let alone a whole night,” Alois said with a snort and passed the glass back to Ciel. “Claude and I fuck for hours on end, way longer than you or Sebastian. Plus, I would scream louder than you, so that makes me better than you anyway.”
Ciel took the drink, finding this conversation oddly familiar. “All it sounds like is that you are trying to compensate for something.” He moved in closer to Alois, leaning in like he was about to tell a deep, dark secret. “So tell me, who is it? Who has the pea sized dick?” A glaze had settled over Ciel’s eyes, giving away his intoxicated state as he leered at Alois.
Alois sputtered. “If anyone has the pea sized dick, it would be Sebastian. Otherwise Claude wouldn’t have left him. He probably sucks in bed too.” He smirked. “Which means you probably suck in bed too, seeing as you two are still together. You two wouldn’t be able to tell what good sex was if it hit you in the face.”
The chair scratched against the floor as Ciel stood sharply, downing his drink and slamming the cup on the table. His hand thrust out to point at Alois, an angry frown on his face. “I am a great lover! Me and Sebastian have excellent sex if you must know. You’re...” Ciel stuttered, trying to find the correct insult he wanted to use but seemed to come up with nothing as he weakly threw out, “You’re just a whiny girl in bed” to Alois’s face.
“Am not!” Alois yelled back and stood up as well. He glared at Ciel before a smirk crossed his lips. “I would challenge you to a contest to see who could last the longest with their boyfriend, but I wouldn’t want to embarrass either of you. You probably suck at kissing, too. The simplest intimate gesture and you would fail at it, cause you’re a loser.” The word was ended in a sing song tone as Alois goaded Ciel on, tempting him to prove him wrong.
“Am not!” Ciel threw back, voice just as slurred as Alois’s was quickly getting. “I... I kiss just fine!” And he did, Ciel knew he did. Sebastian had never complained about what he could do with his mouth. Their kisses had been sensual and perfect, never anything less than that. “And stop telling me what I can and can’t do,” Ciel tacked on for good measure.
Alois snorted. “I can tell you whatever I please. I’m older than you, so I have more experience in the desires of the body. Therefore I’m better than you.” It was solid logic in Alois’s foggy mind, and he refused to back down. “Unless you want to prove that you’re better than me.”
Something told Ciel that he should back down. It wasn’t worth all of this, and Ciel could simply indulge himself in more drink. Alois was no doubt talking through the alcohol, but it seemed that the very same alcohol was pushing Ciel to reclaim the pride Alois was squandering. He poured himself another drink, as it was quickly becoming a habit, and sipped at it as he eyed Alois dangerously.
A rather large gulp was taken, and Ciel felt all his caution slip away. “I don’t need to prove anything, I know I’m better than you,” he boasted, seeming very sure of himself.
“That’s a polite way of saying that you’re scared to prove yourself,” Alois said, laughing slightly. “I knew you were chicken shit before, but this just proves it. You don’t have the guts to do anything unless your loser boyfriend is next to you.” He pushed his drink away as the room spun for a second before the sensation passed.
Ciel concluded just then that he did not like the mixture that was Alois and liquor. He frowned and sat back down in his chair when he felt as if he would fall if he stood for just a while longer. “What would you have me do to prove myself to you?” Ciel asked softly, trying to get the words out correctly. It was odd how hard it was getting to speak, and more so to focus upon Alois. The feeling was funny, but once more Ciel was aware of just how relaxed and, dare he say, happy he was about everything. Ciel liked the feeling; it was a welcomed escape from his problems.
Alois fell silent as he thought about the question. It came quicker than it would have if he were sober and within seconds, Alois was blurting out his answer. “Kiss me. Prove to me that you’re a better kisser than I am, and I’ll take everything back.” He nodded, proud of his answer. “There’s no way you can win against me.”
Even being far past tipsy, Ciel still recoiled at the demand. “No!” He squeaked and almost fell back in his chair. “I’m not going to kiss you... I might... Catch something!” A disgusted look settled on Ciel, and once more he felt like he should be drinking more. His body didn’t know when to stop, but Alois had shocked him well enough that he continued to gape at the man without further indulging himself in drink.
“Chicken,” Alois crowed, making a ‘bak bak’ noise of a chicken. “You already know that you’re going to lose to me, so why don’t you just admit it and then we’ll be good. You can go crawl back to Sebastian after this, crying that you suck.”
“I’m not chicken, I just don’t want to kiss your ugly face,” Ciel defended. “It’ll make me sick.” It wasn’t totally the truth. Alois wasn’t a bad looking individual, but Ciel had little interest of sharing something like a kiss with anyone but Sebastian. It just felt wrong, and Ciel instinctively tried to weasel his way out of this challenge.
Alois snorted. “Say whatever you want, but I can go back to Claude tonight and tell him that we’re the better kissers.” Although now that Ciel mentioned it, Alois really didn’t want to kiss Ciel either. The thought made his stomach churn slightly, but it was brushed off as the alcohol.
Ciel stood abruptly once more, swaying and moving around the table in slow and careful movements. He was quickly growing tired of this argument and wanted it to end. “I’ll kiss you just to get you shut up!” The words were yelled a little louder than Ciel had intended, but frankly he didn’t care. At the moment he wasn’t able to think of much else than what was currently going on. “Kiss me, and then shut up,” he said in a grumble.
“Fine!” Alois shouted back and stood up as well. He shook his head briefly before focusing on Ciel, realizing how close the younger male was to him.It made him pause, and for a moment, his bravado wavered. It was pushed aside a moment later, and Alois reached forward, fingers lacing through dark locks.
Neither male moved, simply staring into one another’s face. Ciel wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move. The hands in his hair felt awkward, and he wanted nothing more than to pull them away. His own hands felt too heavy, and Ciel left Alois to hold him in such a way for the time being. He waited for something to happen, growing more anxious when Alois continued to stare dumbly at him.
“Will you hurry it up?” Ciel was never the patient sort. “Or have you grown scared because you know you’ll lose?”
“You wish,” Alois snapped before pulling Ciel’s head closer to his. Lips pressed together harshly and noses bumped, creating an awkward barrier between them as Alois tried to tilt his head more to better kiss Ciel. It was clumsy, and Alois finally tilted Ciel’s head to the side, pressing their lips together in a better position.
Ciel had to resist the urge to pull away; the touch of Alois’s lips made him want to recoil and disinfect himself with another glass of tequila. Their lips pressed firmly, and they moved against one another as Ciel tried push himself to prove the point that seemed rather lost at this moment. What use was it to prove something like this, Ciel wondered. No kiss was going to seem enjoyable when you are kissing someone whom you’d rather punch in the face. Still, Ciel wouldn’t allow himself to be the first to back down.
Alois’s mouth opened against Ciel’s before closing quickly. He didn’t want to have that intimate of a kiss with Ciel. The thought made him gag, and he pressed harder against Ciel, determined to win the contest without the use of tongue. He jumped though when the door slammed shut, and he spun around, eyes wide as he stared at Sebastian.
“What’s going on here?” Sebastian asked, voice low and dangerous.
Something in Ciel told him he should be worried, and a small voice urged him to comfort Sebastian that this wasn’t exactly what it looked like. Instead he merely looked a little miffed and said, “I was proving to Alois that I was a good kisser. Tell him how good I am.” He looked expectantly at Sebastian, swaying in his stop as he struggled to keep standing.
Sebastian scowled as he took in Ciel’s slurred speech and the number of bottles resting on the counter. He approached Ciel and looped an arm around Ciel’s waist, pulling him closer to his body and offering him support. “Let’s go, Ciel,” he murmured, grunting slightly as he lifted Ciel up, so he didn’t have to worry about the younger male stumbling the whole way back to his room.
He moved away from Alois and paused briefly by the door, glancing over his shoulder at Alois. “And he’s a good kisser, better than Claude ever was,” he spat, furious that Alois had goaded Ciel into this, especially when Alois had a high tolerance to alcohol.
“Put me down!” Ciel struggled, not enjoying being man handled like he was. “I can walk.” The world seemed to be moving by too quickly, and he felt his stomach turn. Quickly, he closed his eyes and tried to breath slowly as Ciel became aware of a flight of stairs they were ascending. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed at being taken away from his drinks, worrying that without them he would feel the weight of his problems weighing down upon him once more. Although he was pleased to be rid of Alois.
“You can’t walk,” Sebastian snapped and paused outside their room to open the door before moving inside. He kicked the door shut behind him and moved to set Ciel on the bed. “What’s wrong, Ciel?” He asked, taking Ciel’s face in his hands. He was determined to get to the bottom of this, no matter what.
Ciel wiped at his lips the moment he had free reign of his limbs. He wanted nothing more than to get the taste and feel of Alois’s lips off his own. “I let Alois kiss me, that’s what’s wrong.” A blue eye looked dazed as it tried to focus on Sebastian as Ciel frowned. “Come here and kiss me so I can forget. It was awful.”
“No. Not yet, not until you tell me what’s going on. Why would you let yourself get trashed like that?” Sebastian asked. He could smell the alcohol on Ciel’s breath, and the smell made his nose crinkle in disgust.
“I’m fine,” Ciel tried to wave him away and almost toppled over on the bed. “I’ve never felt better. Stop worrying about me, and worry about what you’ll be doing tomorrow.” And just like that, thoughts of what had started all of this filtered back into Ciel’s mind. Memories of Joker and the pain slipped in alongside the conversation they had had in Tanaka’s office. As it all came back to Ciel, he couldn’t help but want to be back in the kitchen downing the rest of the drink that he’d left.
Sebastian shook his head as Ciel’s eyes glazed over, his mind trying to shut down on the thing that was bothering him. “Don’t do that, Ciel,” he stated and gripped Ciel’s face tighter. “Don’t shut yourself down and keep things from me when I can help. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” A small hint of panic welled up inside him at how Ciel was acting, and he felt powerless to stop it.
Ciel snorted and shook his head. “You can’t help me. It’s not a problem you can understand... Not with the life you’ve lived.” It was the alcohol talking, the substance being a double edged sword. It might have helped to calm Ciel, but it did an amazing job in loosening his tongue. Normally Ciel would not have said as much.
The words stung slightly, and Sebastian pulled Ciel closer to him, guilt rising up in him at knowing this was his fault as well. “I’m sorry, Ciel,” he murmured and ran his fingers through Ciel’s hair. “Tell me though, explain it to me so I can understand.”
It wasn’t such an easy thing to do, not with Ciel’s mind swimming like it was. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted Sebastian to know. As of then, Ciel couldn’t pin point his reasoning for keeping quiet, other than Sebastian not being able to understand. But now Sebastian seemed willing to try, and Ciel was finding it hard to continue to keep everything bottled up.
“I...” Ciel faltered and looked away from Sebastian. He sighed heavily and fell back on the bed with a huff. “I hate this feeling... Not knowing what I should do, but knowing what I have to do. Does that make sense?” A blue eye rolled to the side as Ciel looked at Sebastian. “I hate being scared.”
Sebastian nodded silently, understanding what Ciel was talking about. After everything they had been through, even Sebastian was slightly apprehensive about the future. The thought of losing Ciel again terrified him, and it made him cling to Ciel in the middle of the night. But Ciel was talking about something else, and Sebastian climbed up on the bed. “You’re talking about Joker,” he murmured. Ciel’s actions had changed after Tanaka had mentioned the man, and that was the only thing Sebastian could think that was bothering Ciel.
Ciel was silent for only a moment, the words tumbling from his lips soon enough. “I thought he was dead, and long gone. He should have died back there, Mey-rin should have killed him... Not me. I want nothing more to do with him,” he said with the deepest of honesty.
“At the time, it wasn’t her choice to kill him,” Sebastian said gently and pulled Ciel to him, running his fingers down Ciel’s face. “I would take your place if I could, but Tanaka was firm with his orders. But I’ll be there with you. I won’t let you face him alone again.” Tanaka would reprimand him for offering such a thing, saying that Sebastian was babying Ciel again, but to hell with what Tanaka thought. He wasn’t the one holding Ciel during the night when the younger male woke up screaming from a nightmare.
“I don’t want you to see me fall apart,” Ciel admitted quietly and pressed his face into Sebastian’s chest. Some form of sobriety was returning to Ciel, but the drunken haze was still ever present. It wouldn’t be for many hours before Ciel was remotely normal, and even then he would be fighting a hangover.
Sebastian shook his head. “I want to see every side of you. No matter what. You know that I won’t judge you.” He held Ciel tighter, feeling bad that Ciel had been trying to keep this from him because he was worried about what Sebastian was going to think of him. That was the last thing Sebastian wanted. “I love you, Ciel. No matter what face you show to me, whether funny, sad, angry, scared, or even drunk, I will love you. Never doubt that.”
“I love you, too,” Ciel chirped and seemed suddenly in much better spirits despite the previously somber conversation. Perhaps another wonder of the alcohol pumping through his veins. He smiled up at Sebastian and licked his lips before frowning once more. “You still need to kiss me,” he said rather matter of fact.
A small chuckle left Sebastian’s mouth, and he leaned down to capture Ciel’s lips, tasting the alcohol on them. He grunted slightly at the taste but ignored it as he nipped at Ciel’s lip before pushing his tongue into Ciel’s mouth. He didn’t know how far Ciel and Alois had gone kissing wise, but he wasn’t about to take any chances.
Moaning softly, Ciel clung to Sebastian knowing that this was the only man whom Ciel could have truthfully enjoy kissing. It didn’t come as a surprise to realize that Alois was the worst kisser, and it made Ciel feel a slight sense of pride. He pulled away after a moment and looked smugly up at Sebastian. “I’m a good kisser,” Ciel said like it was the purest of truths.
“You are,” Sebastian answered with a smirk. He leaned down again, his lips hovering just over Ciel’s. “And what about me? Am I a good kisser?” He asked, nipping at Ciel’s lips again and enjoying the soft groan that left his mouth.
“I’m not sure yet,” Ciel said with a Cheshire grin. “I think I need another example.” He leaned up and firmly pressed his lips to Sebastian, his tongue flicking out to taste. Sebastian’s flavor was always sweet, and Ciel found himself forcing his tongue in to get more and more.
Tongues brushed against each other before curling around one another. Sebastian pressed against Ciel more, pleased that he had both hands which allowed him to grasp Ciel tightly and do whatever he wished to the younger male. They broke apart after a while and Sebastian looked down at Ciel. “Well?”
Ciel giggled, which was rather uncharacteristic of the man, and pecked Sebastian on the nose. “I think your kissing will do,” was all he said with a saucy wink. It was amazing what a little drink could do to a person. Ciel was more relaxed and open, that much was for sure. In the morning, if Ciel remembered any of this, he would be hitting himself for the way he had acted.
Sebastian rolled his eyes before giving Ciel another kiss on the temple. “You’re going to be hungover in the morning,” he commented. “It’s best to start drinking some water now and get some sleep soon so it won’t be so bad come morning. Change and get to bed. I’ll wake you every two hours to make sure you get to drink a couple glasses of water.”
Getting out of bed proved to be hard, but getting Ciel into his pajamas proved to be harder still. Ciel swayed and nearly fell over more than a handful of times. He cursed once when he banged his elbow on the dresser, but at that point he had managed to get his sleep pants on and chose to forgo the top. Carefully he made his way back to the bed and collapsed in it, suddenly feeling the need to pass out even though it was still evening and just getting dark.
“I want to sleep,” Ciel whined and slapped away Sebastian’s hand as he tried to get him to drink some water. It wasn’t wanted, and he only wanted sleep. Water couldn’t give him that, he reasoned.
Sighing at Ciel’s actions, Sebastian brought the glass to his lips and sipped at the water before pushing his lips against Ciel’s. He felt the younger male open his mouth at his actions, and Sebastian opened his own, allowing the water to slide into Ciel’s mouth.
The younger male swallowed and broke away from him, coughing as the water went down the wrong way, and Sebastian shoved the glass into his hand. “Drink that, it’ll help,” he stated, smirking slightly.
Frowning, Ciel complied, drinking down the water until there was nothing left. He licked his lips and continued to look menacingly up at Sebastian. “Can I sleep now?” He asked and turned to snuggle into the blankets and pillows. Sleep sounded good, especially now that his stomach was twisting in the most unpleasant of ways.
“Yes,” Sebastian answered and ran his fingers through Ciel’s hair before standing up. “Sleep and I’ll wake you later,” he stated and moved away from the bed. A soft snore reached his ears, and Sebastian shook his head as he set the glass down. A book was grabbed from the desk after he made his way back into the bedroom and settled down in a chair to watch over Ciel, silently wishing him pleasant dreams
To Be Continued . . .